so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
