ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
