note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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