Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
