She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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