There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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