she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
