oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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