how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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