Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
