I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I wish you could order shots online.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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