when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
