I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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