this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
