no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
