Don't you send me to vm
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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