apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
