I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
