i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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