dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize