i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
