fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
