Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
