is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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