maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
