Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
