And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
