went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize