I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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