Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
