She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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