her vagine was all disorganized.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
