Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize