No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
