Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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