it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
