is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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