Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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