Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
