yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
