There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
