He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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