Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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