Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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