The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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