I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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