Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
