I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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