After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
