So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
