Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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