The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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