this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize