this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize