just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
