then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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