YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
