How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
