Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
