I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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